Loving Angels Instead
by Gloredhel
Summary: The fifth installment in Fly Away From Here...as requested, less of Danny and more of Rafe! in fact, ALL of Rafe...so enjoy!


DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters, only Susie. The title is from Robbie Williams.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is when Susie finds out that Rafe has "died". Barely any Danny in here at all, so i guess it's the "other obstacle" that was requested:) I think I'll do an "after Danny's death" fic later, and have Susie and Evelynn get to know eachother better. From there on, I don't know. I don't think anybody would be interested in reading about only Susie, and her meeting and marrying someone else? It kind of drifts away from Pearl Harbor, but I'd absolutely love to write it, if anyone would read it and enjoy it:) i'm all about pleasing the readers--Danny would be in there in flashbacks, and Rafe, Evelynn, and Danny Jr. would be incorporated. Even Red! So please, respond to this and hey, if you have any personal ideas for it e-mail me at buffyvike6091@aol.com. Plus, and this is the end of this note i promise lol, I'm thinking of putting all the stories together and making it one big story. I'll post it alter when everything's done, or maybe i'll just email it to the people who want it. so email me if that's you! ENJOY!  
  
  
  
Loving Angels Instead   
  
  
...When somebody close to you dies, you shut down. Nothing's important anymore--not money, not friends, and not family--unless, of course, it was somebody in your family who died. That was the case for me. The honorable Rafe McCawley was dead--shot down overseas...  
  
  
The day was bright and clear, the warm southern sun beating down on the greened grass and a pitcher of lemonade resting on the porch as I hung up laundry to dry in the sideyard. Everything seemed to be going well, Rafe and Danny were off training. In fact, Rafe had gotten drafted into Britain's Royal Air Force, and right now he was probably shooting down tons of German bastards. Always the hero, my big brother.  
As I hung up a dress, I saw a man in a uniform approaching the house. Great, I thought, more damn news about the war. Don't they know I can hear it for myself on the radio?  
"Can I help you?" I called, walking up to the porch.  
"Uhh, yes'm," the boy responded, yanking off his cap and twisting it nervously in his hands. He looked very stressed. The poor thing couldn'ta been more t han seventeen. "Could we sit maybe?"  
"Sure. Could I offer you a glass of lemonade? I just made it about a half an hour ago. Fresh picked, too."  
"Sure thing, miss, but I should get right down to business..."  
"Aw, you make it sound so serious! So who got bombed now? Any surrenders? Any news at all? Dammit boy, don't' just stare at the ground, gimme your news so I can finish my laundry!" I smiled at him and gave his scrawny shoulder a good-hearted shove.  
"No, see Ms. McCawley, it ain't really good news," he said quietly. "It's about your--your brother."  
"What'd he do now?" I asked, exasperated. Rafe was always getting into trouble, playing chicken when he wasn't supposed to be.  
"He fought hard ma'am. That's what he did. B-b-but he's not gonna be doin' none of that no more."  
"What are you getting at?"  
"We lose lots of pilots everyday, especially when they're with the Brits' force. It couldn't be helped. I'm sorry."  
The boy got up and walked away. My heart hit the floor, the little bastard was lyin' to me--I knew it. Rafe couldn't be dead, I could feel him still in my heart.  
"You're lying you sonofabitch! Get your ass back here and tell me you're lying!" I screamed after him, shaking my fist furiously.  
The young man turned as he walked to his car and tipped his hat. It hit me then that it was true.  
  
  
...Every second of that day was spent in a flashback of good times with Rafe. And from then on, I'd suffer those flashbacks randomly. I'd be in the grocer buying some milk and suddenly Rafe would be throwing me in the lake. Or I'd be making dinner and suddenly Rafe would be tickling me on the couch until I cried. Or takin' me up in the crop duster. Or crying on my shoulder when he was scared for me and Danny. He was gone, but he stayed in the back of my mind...  
  
  
A week after his death, I received a letter that Rafe had sent me before going down. It read like this:  
  
Susie Q,  
  
Hey baby girl! I miss you a lot, but this is real exciting. I can't believe I got into the Royal Air Force! It's tough as nails, sometimes I just wanna go home and sleep. I shot down about five Germans today, you should be proud of me Suze. Everytime I go out there, I'm one of the few who come back. That makes me pretty damned nervous. So's I got to thinkin. What if something happens to me? I want you to know how much you mean to me. With Mom and Pa gone, there's nobody left but you. And Danny, of course, but you're my only blood. There's not a night I go to bed without thinkin' about you and hopin you're doing well back there. I'm not good at these things when they're all serious and shit, but I want you to know that I love you and I'll do my best to come home for you.  
Your Guy,  
Rafe  
  
  
That night I sat out on the porch steps and watched the moon glare on the fields. I imagined rafe sittin' next to me as he used to so long ago. One night in particular came to mind, after our parents had died in a car accident.  
I had gone outside and sat right there in the same spot and bawled my eyes out for hours. Rafe came outside to sit with me, and put his arm around my shoulders.  
"Suze," he said, comfortingly, "There's times when people just gotta go. And this is one of those times."  
"But I'll never see them again! They was good people Rafe! It's not fair!" I sobbed hysterically, crying into his chest.  
"I know, but God has a plan for us all, girly. And his plan for Mommy and Daddy ended this morning."  
"I won't ever be able to tell them i love them, ever again."  
"Yes you will, only now it's different. Now you're lovin' angels instead."  
"I'm so lost!"  
"Nah, you still got me here to guide you. You'll always have me little Suze." He wiped my tears away.  
"Rafe," I sniffled, huggin' him tighter, "You're the best. Promise me you'll always be with me?"  
"I promise," he whispered, pulling me to my feet a nd leading me inside to listen to the radio.  
  
Now, sitting here on t hat same porch, I crumpled the letter and through it into the garden.  
"Liar!" I screamed at the sky.  
Clenching my fists, I fell to my knees on the ground and sobbed.  
"I'm sorry Rafe! I'm sorry! I love you!" I cried out.  
  
  
...And as the breeeze blew the tears off of my face I knew that as I had loved Rafe in flesh, I was now loving an angel instead--and Lord, I'd never love anyone else as much... 


End file.
